I’ve never been able to get my head around people that decide to bring a child into the world, then disappear off the face of the earth. There are people in the world pining for their loved ones who are no longer with us, there are those who are unable to have kids and are longing to be able to hold a child of their own. Then there are ones that give up before they have even begun.
So what if you and the other parent do not get along? This shouldn’t have any impact on your relationship with your child. If the door has been open from the start then there really is no excuse.
If you have the opportunity to get to know your child, then please do! If you do not have the funds then please understand your child will appreciate your visits. Quality time cannot be match up to any amount of money. You may feel you have nothing to offer your child, but a half an hour visit every week might mean the world to them.
If you know you didn’t have the best upbringing, then why not put your energy into ensuring your child does not experience the same. Treat your childhood as an early lesson in parenthood.
Everyone deserves a chance! Your child is a result of your actions, face up to your responsibilities and don’t have any regrets. She/he didn’t ask to be here, you made it happen!
Being a parent to a child isn’t an on/off relationship. One day everything is peachy and the next you decide you want out, it doesn’t work like that and sadly there are far too many stories similar to this. Your child may have a new step mother or father, but you will always be the one that helped bring them into the world. Take it a little further and be the one that guided them through life. Attend their graduation ceremony and be able to say ‘I’m proud of you’ and know the push in the right direction was down to you.
So when I hear people say don’t be bitter, how can do you explain feeling incomplete? or feeling like you have to compete for the heart of the one you’re dying to greet? Imagine seeing your parent with his/her new family or knowing that they are playing happy families with someone else’s child.
Imagine waiting by the phone for a phone call and not knowing if your parent is still alive. Imagine vaguely remembering what their laugh sounds like and attempting to generate memories of stories that never did unfold. Imagine looking through photo’s and only seeing his/her’s silhouette or finding a photo of the younger you next to a person you feel you’ve barely met.
Why don’t you try to make amends? Well my friend that all depends… If you insist on me reminding them that I still exist. It isn’t a one way street and why should I have to have my actions on repeat? I’ve been the bigger person I’ve been brought up well, but to constantly think people will change I’d have better luck wishing into a wishing well.
I really wish I could take away the pain from those who grew up in these types of households. The classic ‘broken home’; the home isn’t broken, it’s tilted! It still functions correctly I can assure you. You learn to adapt and keep your pride intact.
~This post is based on my own opinions and I do not intend to offend anyone.