Have You Missed Me?

I’ve found myself in awkward situations where I have reconnected with someone and they ask me if I’ve missed them.

If I have missed someone, I will immediately let them know and it will be genuine. Then there are times I will laugh or jokily say that I hadn’t noticed there absense presence (at this point the person gets the gist of it – I haven’t really missed them). Most people are used to my ways, at the best of times words seem to roll off the tip of my tongue and it’s hard to distinguish whether I’m being serious or pulling their leg. 

Sure I might think about certain people from time to time especially if they played some what of a big part in my life. I may even run through snippets of the good times we had, however this doesn’t neccessarily mean I’m yearning to be around them again or looking rekindle or start over. Let’s be honest overtime we look back at friendships/ relationships with people in the past and we start to see things a lot clearer. I’m a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, in the beginning you might not think you can’t live without them and months down the line… Well what do you know, you are still alive and kicking!

I kinda feel like when someone says ‘I miss you’ a part of them wants to start where you left off and in reality (in my world) this rarely ever happens. After a brief exchange of words or a little catch up within no time it drizzles out and its as if the conversation didn’t take place.

An old friend came back into my life recently and halfway through the conversation he said he had missed me. I was so close to saying I had missed him too, then I thought about it for a few seconds … I hadn’t missed him. I felt bad, I really did but we spoke all the time and then spent almost a whole year apart, so I had more than enough time think things through and I definetly made the right choice to leave him to his own devices a year ago.

It doesn’t always work both ways unfortunately. For all I know I could have dived right in and told someone I’ve missed them and they haven’t felt the same. At least I made my feelings known I guess, you can’t knock anyone for expressing how they feel in these situations. I’m not going to apologise for not being able to say the words ‘ I miss you’ if i know deep down I don’t. However I will make more of a conscious effort to express myself in future regardless of how the recipient may respond to it.1206728_21045799 (1)

Advertisements

I Can’t Be The Only One!

It all started when I was about 13 years old. My friends and I were sat in our Geography class ‘working hard’. Only 3/6 of my group of friends (including myself) were in this class and we were lucky enough to sit together. My friend asked why our girl group wasn’t like other girl groups. I was curious to know what she meant by this. I thought we were pretty ‘normal’ (whatever normal is). My friend questioned why we didn’t talk about the guys we fancied like all the girls on TV did. My friends were crazy about boy band members and I never understood the fascination. I would think ‘OK he’s cute, now back to reality’.

‘What boy do I like?’ I thought to myself. I was yet to have a crush on a guy and I felt quite embarrassed about it. Around this time there was this guy who seemed to think he was in love with me. I told him early on that I wasn’t interested in having a boyfriend. All I wanted to do is play games, watch TV and write. Why would I need a boyfriend? I knew for a fact I would never get to see him anyway, so it would be pointless.

My friends went off into one about this one guy they both saw around school. Both of my friends were able to describe him to a tee and I sat there clueless as I had no idea who he was. Before I knew it all eyes were on me ‘Who do you like Rochelle?’ I looked outside and pointed at the first boy I saw. I wasn’t attracted to him in the slightest, he had a queue of girls pining for him- however he wasn’t my cup of tea!

It stuck with me throughout the next two school years. ‘Rochelle look who it is, its brown eyes!’ and I would pretend to be happy to see him. I wasn’t… I really wasn’t! I couldn’t wait for it to be old news. Then when I was 15 I had my first crush, he was there all along. He was OK looking and I found him to be annoying at first. Then when I got to know him I started to realised how handsome he actually was, he was far from annoying and I discovered what butterflies were. In fact I was unable to get my butterflies to keep still.

To this day I’m still the same. There are no celeb’s I’m crazy about. I am always in the background when my friends talk about the guys they consider eye candy in the public eye. I can’t define the type of guys I like, I like what I like. I have no particular preference and it takes a lot more than physical attraction for me to start ‘crushing’ on someone.
straw

Maybe I am the only one?

Health, Fitness and Determination

Hi guys,

I haven’t updated you all in a while. I’m still going strong with my healthy eating and exercising. The food part is easy, I have no qualms eating lots of fruit and vegetables everyday. I make sure I stay hydrated throughout the day, I now add slices of lemon and it feels odd drinking water alone.  I reintroduced white rice to my diet in small doses. I don’t feel as though I have missed out on anything, besides bulgar wheat has taken its place! Bread is still a no no; my colleagues were used to me sitting eating sandwiches for lunch, now I have a container of salad in front of me.
salad

I wake up at the crack of dawn to exercise 4 times a week. It works best for me! Halfway through the workout I realise I’m awake and before I know it the workout is over.

I have less than two months before I go on holiday and I’m still far from excited. Why? I feel like I’m no where near my goal. I said I didn’t have a goal- I don’t, just an idea of what I want to look like and feel like. I had the shock of my life looking through old photo’s of my stomach and I noticed a slight difference! My brother says there is a big difference 😀 I can’t expect things to change overnight, so I shall keep going.  Even looking at a picture of a beach is more than enough motivation for me.
Ibiza Platja En bossa beach with palm trees

I was aiming to make more smoothies, however it turns out my ‘Magic bullet’ wasn’t magic after all! So I purchased a Kenwood Smoothie Maker for £19.99 from Argos. I had a voucher and it was either a handbag or a smoothie maker. I have used it once and I give it 5 stars, its compact, it isn’t too loud and does the job well.

kenwood

So far I have learned...

1. To stay away from the scales. I was never one to jump on off of scales, but I did give it a go. Within a space of 2 minutes my weight changed 3 times (my scales are dodgy). I will use the one at the doctors one day. I measure myself using a tape measure and keep note of the measurements.

2.  To refrain from junk food when I’m stressed, it will not solve my problems! It will add to it if anything.

3. Perseverance is key in all aspects in my life!!! If I can get through a half an hour workout surely I can get through whatever else comes my way.

4. Jilian Micheal’s is the bomb! I feel like I have my own personal trainer in my living room. She often reels off motivational quotes during her workouts and it helps me push myself.

5. I have had my fair share of cakes, biscuits, crisps chocolate and so on. This doesn’t mean I will never eat these foods again. It will be in small doses and on rare occasions.

6. Health is wealth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I took my good health for granted. Recently I was taken a back by some news and it has sunk in now. The bottom line is: looking after myself is so important! What doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger!

dumbell

The Sweet ‘n’ Sour Fruit Tale Part 2

You can read Part 1 here

Over the next 5 years Beth and Arnold still kept in contact. It was usually Arnold who would send Beth messages to check up on her. Then within no time he would disappear off the face of the earth. Beth was used to it; whenever she questioned his disappearances he would avoid the question entirely. Beth assumed she wouldn’t hear from Arnold again when he announced he was moving to another city. Then one day he popped up again…

“Can I ask you a question?” Beth asked out of the blue.

“Sure you can!” Arnold said with a hint of curiosity.

“Why do you keep disappearing?” Beth questioned as she expected the worst.

“Honestly I liked you a lot and I was finding it too hard ” Arnold explained.

For the first time Arnold didn’t avoid the question. Beth was finally able to understand where he was coming from. They were finally getting somewhere after all these years. The best part was the fact Arnold was moving back to her city!

“You inspired me to write a post on my online journal” Beth randomly mentioned in one of their conversations.

Arnold had a tendency to encourage Beth to write on her online journal. He would occasionally read through posts and give her feedback.

“Oh really, I want to read it. Send me the link!” He said as his voice was filled with excitement.

“No, I don’t think I want you to read it” Beth said nervously. Beth was nervous about sending Arnold the link. She didn’t want him to question why she had remembered a conversation they had 5 years ago.

“I’m waiting! You’re breaking my heart” He said jokily. Arnold knew Beth could be a little stubborn. Within no time she sent him the link and asked if he had remembered the conversation.

“Of course I remember!” Arnold said as he chuckled.

“Phew” Beth thought to herself. She felt a sense of relief now she was assured he didn’t think she was crazy.

There were barely any fights or disagreements. However when they fought their exchange of words hit home. Beth and Arnold had planned to meet up for the first time in ages. Beth was a little nervous and Arnold asked if she needed more time. She didn’t- it was a day she had thought about for a very long time. Then a couple days before their planned encounter this happened…

“Are you alive or are you just bored of me?” Arnold asked in a text message.

“I’m alive and I’m not bored of you” She replied swiftly as she anticipated what was to come.

“I feel like we are going backwards. I thought we were moving forward and over the last few days you seem away” He ranted.

Beth was genuinely confused. For the last week or so she was the one to initiate the communication. Arnold had taken a step back and she questioned his lack of conversation, however she didn’t express her feelings vocally.

“I have had a lot on my mind at the minute. If I have been away, it hasn’t been intentional, sorry” Beth explained; she felt like she was apologizing for no reason.

“That’s when you should talk to me, so I know how you’re feeling” He snapped.

“I would have if I needed to. It’s not like I haven’t made contact for ages, I even messaged you yesterday” Beth had a point. They spoke yesterday and even then everything seemed okay.

“I could sense something was up over the last few days, but I guess we can be friends. It’s better than nothing”

“Wow. You’re not listening to me. If I have been slightly away it has nothing to do with you!”

“K” He responded with the dreaded letter that ends conversations promptly. He shut her down, no matter what Beth said he didn’t believe a word of it.

Things took a turn for the worst and the day Beth had waited so long for wasn’t likely to happen. The fruit was slowly becoming sour…

heartapple

Are Apprenticeships The Way Forward?

In my last year of college we were encouraged to sign up to UCAS and attend university. I hadn’t explored my other options or considered what else I could do as an alternative to university.schoolnewThis is the route we all know so well.

My ideal university learning curve

University was a big learning curve for me; however I always found it lacked something vital. It was all very well having us sit through lectures and tutorials from week to week, handing out assignments and sending us on our merry way. What about prepping us for real life situations? Granted we all followed through and gained a degree; what could we expect to happen next?

Why not teach students about what employers want and the skills they need to obtain? Why not encourage students to get as much experience as they can during university?

Lectures could openly share their own experiences and hopefully inspire their students. At the end students would gain a degree along with great cover letters, CV’s, a portfolio, interview prep and so on. Not forgetting feeling more confident as they enter the world of work.

Having completed a Multimedia degree I look back at some of the modules on my course and wonder if they were really relevant. I would have loved a bit more focus on life after university; the importance of gaining experience, a chance to explore how to approach daunting interviews, time to develop our portfolio’s and prep for our futures.

graduate-1109366-m

Is experience a must-have?

Experience seems to be more important than is emphasized, I know this from experience! I’m actually quite puzzled by the concept of some of these internships.I have been lead to believe that internships were a gateway for graduates; an opportunity to gain hands on experience. I have come across companies looking for interns with experience.

So you are telling me I need experience beforehand to get experience? Intriguing! Surely I’m missing something here? If everyone is asking for experience, how will graduates get experience, if you won’t offer experience #catch22.

catch222

I am not ruling out the companies out there who seek candidates who are passionate and show genuine interest in the area over candidates with more experience. I’m glad there is living proof you exist! It goes to show that there is hope for graduates struggling to land a job or internship.

I took matters into my own hands and found an internship programme in my 2nd year of University. I was lucky enough to spend 2 months working for a charity called bibic in Somerset. I discovered this internship through the University of East London, their programme ‘Shellstep’ was open to students from all universities.

My second internship was in partnership with the University of West London and the first 2 weeks were spent working on self development. We attended public speaking workshops, developed our CV’s/ cover letters and learned useful interview techniques. It was a wonderful experience and one I will not forget!

Why do unpaid internships still exist?

I understand there are plenty of graduates out there looking for experience, however working for free in this day and age is ludicrous! Travel alone costs an arm and a leg! I am aware that some companies contribute to travel expenses and money towards your sarnies which is better than nothing!

I do wonder if employers expect you to jump on your skateboard and travel from the outskirts of North London to Central London every day. £5 a day won’t stretch very far in terms of life outside of work. Surely unpaid internships should be called “Volunteerships” or something along those lines. Students are volunteering their services after all!

I appreciate websites that ban companies from posting unpaid internships on their job boards. Graduates need to live too! We are hungry to learn but this shouldn’t compromise money towards living/eating.

1176512_49640378

So are apprenticeships the way forward?

I’ve asked a few youngsters their plans for life after sixth form/ college and its apparent apprenticeships are a hit! Merely out of curiosity I have asked the reason behind their decision and it’s more or less the same answers. “I don’t want to go to university” or “I want experience before I go to university”.

Fair play to those who don’t plan on going to uni; uni isn’t for everyone and it certainly doesn’t guarantee a job. Ensure you explore all your options and go with what suits you. There are tons of apprenticeships schemes appearing from left right and centre catering for college leavers. Far more than what was on offer in my day.

All I can say is grab these opportunities while you can and make the most of them.

reach2

Salmon With Bulgur Wheat, Peach And Avocado Salad

This salad recipe has been staring me in the face for the last two days. It is from a recipe leaflet recently picked up from my local Tesco supermarket. The salmon was cooked from the top of my head, it is very basic but tasty! I reduced the ingredients as I was only cooking for two.
photo (8)
Here are the details:

Serves: 8
Prep + Cooking time: 30 mins

Ingredients & prep

Salmon Fillets
1 lemon
Coarse pepper
Salt

300g bulgur wheat
1 large red chilli pepper, seeded removed and slices
100g spinach leaves
4 spring onions, trimmed
31g fresh coriander
3 tsp extra-virgin olive oil
1 lime, juiced
2 red peppers, seeded removed and slices
2 peaches, peeled and sliced
1 ripe avocado, peeled and sliced
A handful of radish, sliced
100g feta cheese crumbled

  • Wash salmon with water and lemon juice
  • Coat salmon with salt, pepper and lemon juice. Place in the refrigerator or set aside.
  • Preheat oven at 200 degrees and place the salmon in foil and on a baking tray. Cook for 15 mins and turn the salmon halfway through.

Cooking Method

1. Rinse the bulgur wheat with cold water and drain using a sieve. Place in a pot and cover with hot boiling water and place on a high heat. Leave to simmer for 20 minutes until it is tender. Drain the sieve, rinse with cold water and repeat.
2. Put the chilli, spinach, spring onions and coriander into a blender with half the olive oil and lime juice. Blitz it into a paste and stir into the cooked bulgur wheat.
3. Fry the peppers and peach slices in olive oil until brown and mix in with the bulgur wheat.
4. Add the avocado and radish along with some lime juice and the crumbled feta.
5. Drizzle on olive oil and garnish with coriander leaves (optional)
6. Serve

My review

My my my… this was quite possibly the BEST salad I have ever tasted! Bulgur wheat is my new replacement for rice. It tastes just like the white rice I adore. All the ingredients complimented each other well from the tangy lime, sharp spring onions and the sweet peaches. Radish added a little crunch to the dish, I just threw them in since they were sitting lonely in my fridge. The salmon was yummy too… 10/10!