My Letter To Fear

I started writing this post a few weeks ago, I was inspired by Anastasia’s post Lightbringer. Have a little read, you will understand the connection… I hope! I found her post thought provoking and I immediately started to think about taking risks and the fear of rejection. I love the ending in particular.

Dear Fear,

For as long as I can remember, you have always tried your hardest to be a part of my life. You were always the unwanted guest that insisted on staying beyond your non-existent welcome. I stupidly let you stay and you admittedly corrupted my thoughts. You would whisper in my ear right before I had plucked up enough courage to take action; implying that it was almost impossible for me to succeed and I believed you!

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In the past you made it seem like hearing the word ‘No’ was the worst thing in the world. Instead of encouraging me to go ahead and take risks; you somehow convinced me to take a back seat and watch… Watch possibly the best thing that could ever happen to me, happen to someone else or not happen at all! Unfortunately, I’m now left with a heap of what if’s.

I now realise that there is a 50/50 chance of hearing ‘No’ and a 50/50 chance of hearing ‘Yes’. No one likes being rejected; however rejection is a part of life! I hear the word ‘No’ all the time and it is inevitable that I will hear it again! The same goes for hearing the word ‘Yes’! I’ve learned that I will never know the outcome unless I go for it and who knows I may be pleasantly surprised.

I’ve always told myself that I would never allow anyone to have control over me, then right before my eyes you somehow managed to manipulate my thoughts. I often wonder how life would have been if I hadn’t met you or if I had stood up to you sooner. Your visits are less frequent nowadays, I don’t feel obliged to open the door to you anymore and I’m starting to think that you get the picture.

So Fear, how will you attempt to obstruct my thoughts today? You won’t! I won’t let you interfere anymore, you have caused enough damage! Please understand that you are no longer welcome here.

Yours sincerely,

Chelle

Don’t forget to visit Anastasia’s blog, it is one of my favourites! http://angirach.wordpress.com/

 

You Can’t Run Away From Your Problems!

They say you can’t run away from your problems and it is so true! No matter where you go your problems will always follow you. We cannot operate our thoughts with an on/off switch or select which day we’d prefer a thought to run through our minds.

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I’ve had my own little escapism plans, where no unwanted thoughts could enter. I would find little things to distract me and I would often get pleasure out of doing things I wouldn’t usually enjoy doing. Then came the ” Back to reality” wake up call…Sooner or later I was back where I started!

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I have contemplated the places I’d rather be in a hope my problems would disappear. I thought that if I got on a train and travelled to XYZ, my problems would be left behind. I believed this was the solution and everything would be peachy from then onwards.

Boy was I wrong! My problems wouldn’t be left behind on the train, my problems would get off the train with me! In my head it seemed like the easy way out! As we all know; the things we believe are easy sometimes turn out to be not so easy!

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My bed is the main place I visit when I want to run away from my thoughts. A few hours of rest with no interruptions from the voice in my head- what more could I ask for? At times it works wonders, I wake up feeling refreshed, motivated and as if I could take on the world! But when your problems start to haunt you in your sleep, you know it’s time to get your shit together!

It’s time to address the situation and talk things through with yourself!  I’m often called crazy for talking to myself, but my response is ” I’m comfortable with myself”. If this makes me crazy, then so be it!

Sometimes it needs to be done, do what you have to do! If you can’t help yourself then who will? It all starts with addressing the problem and curbing your thoughts as you work towards finding the solution.

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You can’t run away from your problems…

Today Is Your Day!

There are 24 hours in a day and the moment something trivial happens, we automatically say “Today isn’t my day”. When we are faced with a difficult situation we say “Today isn’t my day”, even when we know we are capable of getting through it.

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Why wouldn’t you consider today as being your day? You’re alive; there are new opportunities for you and endless possibilities. Why does the phrase “Today isn’t my day” even come to mind? We are self consciously telling ourselves that it isn’t our day and we have the power to make it our day.

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Looking back I realise that some of the ‘bad days’ I’ve experienced weren’t even all that bad. Instead of saying “Today isn’t my day”; I’ve started saying “It’s one of those days”. Today I was faced with a difficult situation. I could have easily resorted to claiming it wasn’t my day, but I didn’t! Why? Because I know I will get past it.

If your day or year so far isn’t going your way, remind yourself that you have the rest of the year to make things happen for you! In fact, you have the rest of your life to make things happen for you!

Today is your day along with the rest of the days in the year!

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10 Of My Biggest Life Lessons

I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately. I thought about some of the things I have learned over the years. Here is a collection of 10 of my biggest life lessons:

1. Accept compliments!

Don’t question everyone that compliments you. I’m pretty? What me? Really? On what planet? Are you sure? All this is unnecessary, a simple thank you will do. Let it sink in, it was a compliment directed at you, enjoy!

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2. Spontaneity is the way forward

Being spontaneous is the best way to go. Some of the most memorable outings have been unplanned. Is it me or does planning sometimes suck out all the fun from the get go? When my friends call with last minute plans; 98% of the time we have the most fun! I find it’s the events that take longer to organise that don’t always end well.

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3. There is no obligation

If you don’t want to do something, don’t! The keyword here is “Obligation”, if it is your job/duty to do so, I’m advising you to do it! This applies to other scenarios.. We sometimes do things to please others and there is no harm in doing so! However, if something isn’t your cup of tea, don’t feel as though you always have to say yes. With that being said, always make sure you are at least being open minded which brings me to my next lesson…

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4. Be open minded

Explore other options and leave your comfort zone once in a while. Your friends may have invited you to a Roller Disco, you’ve never been, but for some reason you don’t want to go. Think of all the reasons why you don’t want to go and weight up your options. If sitting at home watching TV is your only other option, then why not at least give it a go. It is an opportunity to try something new with the possibility of meeting new people. Once you’ve tried it, you can then cross it off your list! Sitting too comfortably in the comfortable zone could mean you are missing out in the long run.

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5. You don’t need to justify yourself!

My mum has been saying this to me for years. If you make a decision, it is your choice to go ahead with it. If you are happy with your decision and it isn’t affecting anyone else; why do you need to explain yourself? People can plug you all they want, but it is your prerogative to divulge. Try it one day; instead of replying with a full blown reply to justify yourself, say you did it because you wanted to.

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6. Not everyone is going to like you!

Don’t spend time thinking through the reasons why someone could possibly dislike you. Throw that thought to the back of your mind. If someone wants to waste time and energy hating you, then leave them to it! You have bigger fish to fry my friend! Always remind yourself which bill of yours they are contributing to. Oh… they don’t pay any of your bills?

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7. Leave the excuses at home!

We all do it. We get to work a little late and say “My alarm didn’t go off”, when deep down we know it did! Admit it, your Pillow asked you to stay 5 mins longer and you couldn’t resist! One day I was running a little late for work, I had already thought of an excuse to use, instead I said ”Today I was disorganized, I need to sort out my time management”. My manager did not expect that response, he let it slide due to me being honest. Take responsibility for your actions!

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8. Kill them with kindness!

This can apply to all aspects of your life. If anyone has anything bad to say about you, be kind!  Do not stoop to their level; I know it’s easier said than done, but at the end of the day they are only making themselves look bad! If you know it is out of character for you to mirror their actions, then continue as you were. At least no one can badmouth you for being too kind.

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9. Voice your opinions

If you have something to say, say it! Don’t be that person that has a zillion things going through their mind throughout a discussion, yet hesitates to say a word. Be bold; bring it to light, there and then! I was once a very shy girl. I would sit quietly in the corner and barely say anything to anyone. You know that saying “The shy girl catches the worm”, she doesn’t!  (I’m aware this isn’t the actual saying). I wasn’t put on this earth to mimic a tree, no sir! Now I’ve started, I can’t stop and won’t stop!

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10. Be yourself

You are unique, so embrace it! Do whatever blows your hair back. You are a one off, limited edition, non-refundable, non-exchangeable bundle of delightfulness. It’s kind of like when you are proposing your business idea, there’s always a unique selling point. Remind yourself of your unique qualities and run with it!

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You Live and You Learn!

There’s Something Good In Everyday!

You may feel like the world is on your shoulders and you have nowhere to run. You may feel as though the world is against you and you’re unable to escape your current predicament. It happens to the best of us! I’ve been there and I have memorabilia to prove it! One thing I’ve learned is; moping around doesn’t get you anywhere!

If you feel as though things couldn’t get any worse for you; then prove it to yourself! Don’t dwell on it for too long, wipe your tears and try to make the best of your situation. Tell yourself the only way is up, it does work! Of course your problems will not miraculously disappear overnight (if only it was that easy!), it does takes time!

Some problems are more difficult to solve, this doesn’t necessarily mean there is no way out. If every day was easy, how would you expect to grow as a person? If you were not faced with these challenges, would you be the person you are today?

“Every day may not be a good day, but there is something good in everyday!”

It’s up to us to make a conscious effort to find the good in each day, no matter how big or small! I’ll put my hands up and say that I often overlook so many things in my life. I’ve realised that many of these things are the things that give me life! I strongly believe that there are endless possibilities of better days occurring, when you’re hopeful!

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A Distant Stranger

Imagine you are used to someone’s presence and you can’t imagine life without them. They cross your mind throughout the day, you speak regularly and you enjoy each other’s company. Gradually either of you make an effort to keep in touch. It isn’t a case where you are too busy, something has changed and you can’t put your finger on it. You still care about them and you hope things will be back to normal. Before you know it, the regular contact turns into irregular contact and then it suddenly turns into no contact at all.

Someone from my past came to mind the other morning. It was a dream I had the previous night that triggered my thoughts. I had spent quite some time getting to know this person and we slowly grew apart. We would still talk occasionally, in attempt to hold onto what was already lost. Then reality kicked in after a while and I had to accept that things would never be the same.

"People will forget what you said, people will 
forget what you did, but people will never 
forget the way you made them feel!".

There is so much truth in this quote! Funnily enough I vaguely recall what exactly happened back then, but I can remember exactly how I felt!

How does someone you speak to almost everyday become a distant stranger?

Be Kind, It Doesn’t Cost A Thing!

When you reach out to someone and they are thankful, it is one of the best feelings! You can’t expect people to always be kind towards you; sometimes it may seem like receiving a simple “Hello” or “Thank you” is like getting blood out of a stone.

I encounter all kinds of people on a daily basis; some will make a conscious effort to be kind or show their appreciation, then there are those who barely acknowledge my existence.

I always consider the fact that people have their own problems to deal with and it doesn’t necessarily mean they are not grateful. I once had a lady approach me to apologize for being in a bad mood the previous day; she thought she may have come across as rude. I assumed she had a lot on her plate, I didn’t take it to heart and I said it was okay. The fact she came back to apologize says a lot!

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I am not excusing those who are flat out rude! Yesterday me and a few others went out of our way to help a man and he didn’t say thank you to either of us. Apparently this is always the case with him, I will never forget him and it’s for all the wrong reasons! I wouldn’t want people to remember me for my misdemeanors. In the end he didn’t even get what he wanted and I’m sure you can guess the reason why.

I always make sure I say “Please” and “Thank you” first and foremost. There are times I may not feel like myself, a passer by will say “Good morning” and that alone helps to lift my mood. I’m sure you can think of a time when this has happened to you!

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I’m not saying you should go out of your way to be kind to random people at every given opportunity. Do it from the goodness of your heart!  It shouldn’t feel like a chore! Acts of kindness shouldn’t be for your own good or seen as a chance to seek praise. Show your appreciation whenever you can and let people know that you are grateful.

Initiating acts of kindness can be rewarding. When the receiver shows their appreciation that is a bonus! Kindness doesn’t cost a thing! It could make someone’s day!

“Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.”

Bob Kerrey (1943) American Politician

Hunt For Happiness

We spend a lifetime looking for happiness. Happiness appears and it’s often taken away from us just like that-  back to square one!  Back to revisiting  the dark place you swore to never revisit.  Years, months, days, hours, minutes; anticipating and wishing for change and just like that it’s gone!   Tomorrow will be a better day you say..Well today is tomorrow and it feels like I’ve taken a step back.  How did I even end up here? Where do I go from here?

Imagine a time when you have wanted something for so long. Then when you least expect it, it comes your way. You’re immediately filled with happiness! You put your fears aside and feel as though you can conquer the world. You sit and think about all the great things to come and then everything suddenly changes..

I believe there is a reason behind everything that happens in my life. There is a reason I’m writing this blog post and probably a reason why you are reading it. I have so many unanswered questions that are constantly on my mind. You know when you genuinely want to know why something has happened in your life. You’re not at the stage where you can say ” I understand and I have learnt something from this”.

That’s me right now! I need answers!

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Too Comfortable In The Comfort Zone!

I’m too comfortable in the comfort zone! Is this even possible? Spontaneity unfortunately isn’t my middle name. I’m so used to my daily routine; I seek change without actually seeking it. Choosing the vegetarian option over the chicken option is not living on edge!

I have experienced a few spontaneous endeavors’, which are usually suggested by friends and I have thoroughly enjoyed myself! You know when you leave all your worries behind and embrace the moment! Waking up the next day, reminiscing about the day or night before and flicking through the few pictures you have stored on your phone. These are the days I need more of!

I need to break out of my routine, go with the flow and look forward to what everyday has to offer me. I am almost 1/2 way to 50 and there is so much I still want to do. I’ve had a few setbacks which I am overcoming, but I think it’s time to work a little harder on exiting the comfort zone! Don’t you? As comfortable as it is, I need to get out of my seat!

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