14 Things I Learned in 2014

Hey, I can’t believe I haven’t uploaded a blog post since September! The reason behind my blog name is to live life with no excuses, so that is exactly what I have been doing! Here is a list of the things I learned in 2014:

1. There is no such thing as normal

What is normal?

‘conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

Who sets these standards? I’ve been called weird more times than I can count on my fingers. I didn’t quite understand why I was put into this category. I would thoroughly think about my actions to determine what was so abnormal about them.

I’m still yet to come to a conclusion, I do not care for being ‘normal’. I only know how to be Rochelle and I will continue to do so. So the next time someone says ‘You’re so weird ‘or ‘Why are you so weird?’ I will take it as a compliment. Who wants to be normal anyway? 😛

2. I am in control of my emotions

The moment I left ‘self-doubt’ and any fears I had at the back of my mind, I was finally able to live life and experience new walks of life. One day I was so fed up of everything and made a conscious decision to make a change. It didn’t happen overnight, however it did happen so fast that I didn’t have time to think through what was going on.

I started to enjoy life at present and not over think everything or allow any negative thoughts to corrupt my mind. I started feeling happier, braver and most importantly I started to believe in myself more. 

3. My ‘problems’ are minuscule in comparison

Whilst I’m over here stressing over a little breakout or what to wear on a night out, there is someone out there going through something 100 times worse. I have seen true strength over the last few years, some of my loved ones have been through the worst and you would never even know it. Although you can’t run away from your problems, some problems aren’t really problems and it all depends how you perceive them.

4. Partying isn’t the only means of fun

I’m used to seeing people upload pictures of nights out and I sometimes think ‘Aww I’m missing out’. At one stage I thought I was in the boring category when I had no interest in going out, but you know what I’m not a boring person. I have my own idea of ‘fun’ and that’s where the party is at for me. Every once in a while I will throw on a dress, some heels and shake a leg or two, but there is only so much shaking one can do and it becomes repetitive. Quite frankly I would prefer to be snuggled in bed with a cup of green tea and a good read (haha I sound like a right adventurous one right?)

5. I am adventurous

One evening whilst I was on holiday I thought it would be cool to attempt to fly. I’ve seen superheroes do it on TV, so it was only right I put it to the test. OK- I’ll tell you the actual story. I sprained my ankle whilst of holiday last September. Just my luck right? I cannot recall how exactly it happened or how I managed to miss one step (Yes, it was one single step and it wasn’t even that steep). I can assure you that it didn’t stop me from enjoying my girly holiday. I picked myself up and continued with my evening, then I spent the most part of the following day in a Spanish hospital. Unfortunately I was unable to participate in any water activities for the remainder of my holiday. Next time I will stay clear of all stairs, I promise!

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6. Sleep is my sweet remedy

I love waking up feeling refreshed and raring to go. I’m one of those people that aims to go to bed early and it usually work out (Well 9 times out of 10 it does). I must admit the cold weather makes it almost impossible to drag myself out my bed, however once I’m up, I’m up! Gone are the days when I force myself to stay up and find some sort of entertainment. My duvet, pillow and iPod are my means of late night entertainment. By 10pm I have already planned the last few tasks before I hit the sheets.

7. There is no ‘happy’ in settling

If you have experienced waking up and having to mentally prepare yourself for a day filled with activities you dread- you will understand where I am coming from! I have spent days counting down the hours till I am finally free. The moment I’m free, I’m happy and in my element. There was a period of time where I woke up feeling excited and I looked forward to the day ahead. I loved what I was doing at this time and it was a highlight of my year. I will return here again. Always be grateful for what you have right in front of you, we have to do what we have to do to make ends meet, but do we really need to compromise our happiness for XYZ?      

8. I like my own company

I always have… I don’t get bored of my own company. I’m the kind of person that will go out and socialize from time to time, but after a while I need ME time. Not because I am depressed or in an emotional state, this is how I operate. ‘Don’t take it personally’

9. If everybody is going left and I want to go right, go right!

Just for the sake of it! It may be the wrong choice, but at the end of the day it was my choice. I don’t need to be where everyone else is.

10. Wasted time is worse than wasted money

This one speaks for itself. I can forget about the money I’ve put towards overindulging in my favourite snacks; however my time is so precious. Money can be made to replace what is lost; I can’t get back the time I’ve wasted on people or things. I often think about all the time I have invested in other people and irrelevant activities and if I could turn back the hands of time I would have thought twice about doing so. Note to self: set aside time to invest in yourself frequently. You live and you learn!

11. There is a first time for everything

It’s been a while since I could talk about any new experiences. I would avoid answering questions like ‘When was the last time you tried something new?’ because knowing me I would answer with ‘Yesterday I tried Texas BBQ flavoured pringles’ – The sad truth is that was as exciting as my life was.

As some of you know I had never been on a plane, I hadn’t even spent more than 5 days away from home. 25 years on the planet and the only place I really knew of was ‘Home’ (London). Towards the end of 2013 my friends and I discussed going on a girly holiday. At that point in the time I wasn’t sure how I would get there, but I did! I spent 7 days in Ibiza with 8 other girls which was a little out of my comfort zone (I’m not a party girl!). The holiday opened my eyes to the unforeseen and I cherished every minute of it. Now to plan where I’m off to next!

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12. I am a blogger!

Yes blogging is my thing! I have my own domain name and the freedom to write about whatever I like until my hearts content! 

In April 2014 I decided to write a blog, I had no idea what to name my blog or what I was going to write about. I’m not one to express myself in so many words to any and everyone; however blogging was a whole new world to me and there was no looking back once I started. Before I knew it I was hooked on my blog and my blog has kept me going. In the past I’ve struggled to write 500 words about myself and here I am publishing my 80th post. Whoop!

13. Turning 25 wasn’t the end of the world

To be honest I do not feel 25- I’m still young at heart and there’s no reason for me to act my age. I’m over my ‘OMG I’m not married or in my dream job role yet’ rant. My life doesn’t have to be in order at this point in time. This year was spent investing valuable time into figuring out where my interests lie and it has worked in my favour. I will make mistakes like everyone else and pick myself up and keep going.Things will fall into place when the time is right.

14. I am whatever I believe I am

If I think I’m incapable of being the best I can be, I will portray this to the world and the world will respond to this. I have been working hard to ensure I feed my body with healthy foods and control the amount of junk food I consume mentally. I was afraid to be happy due to past experiences; I was stuck in a loop where I imagined everything being taken away from me in a blink of an eye. I believe there is so much more out there for me and I am going to go and get mine! If everyone else can do it, why can’t I?

2 0 1 5 I’m ready for you!

Here’s to Living with no excuses

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I Can’t Be The Only One!

It all started when I was about 13 years old. My friends and I were sat in our Geography class ‘working hard’. Only 3/6 of my group of friends (including myself) were in this class and we were lucky enough to sit together. My friend asked why our girl group wasn’t like other girl groups. I was curious to know what she meant by this. I thought we were pretty ‘normal’ (whatever normal is). My friend questioned why we didn’t talk about the guys we fancied like all the girls on TV did. My friends were crazy about boy band members and I never understood the fascination. I would think ‘OK he’s cute, now back to reality’.

‘What boy do I like?’ I thought to myself. I was yet to have a crush on a guy and I felt quite embarrassed about it. Around this time there was this guy who seemed to think he was in love with me. I told him early on that I wasn’t interested in having a boyfriend. All I wanted to do is play games, watch TV and write. Why would I need a boyfriend? I knew for a fact I would never get to see him anyway, so it would be pointless.

My friends went off into one about this one guy they both saw around school. Both of my friends were able to describe him to a tee and I sat there clueless as I had no idea who he was. Before I knew it all eyes were on me ‘Who do you like Rochelle?’ I looked outside and pointed at the first boy I saw. I wasn’t attracted to him in the slightest, he had a queue of girls pining for him- however he wasn’t my cup of tea!

It stuck with me throughout the next two school years. ‘Rochelle look who it is, its brown eyes!’ and I would pretend to be happy to see him. I wasn’t… I really wasn’t! I couldn’t wait for it to be old news. Then when I was 15 I had my first crush, he was there all along. He was OK looking and I found him to be annoying at first. Then when I got to know him I started to realised how handsome he actually was, he was far from annoying and I discovered what butterflies were. In fact I was unable to get my butterflies to keep still.

To this day I’m still the same. There are no celeb’s I’m crazy about. I am always in the background when my friends talk about the guys they consider eye candy in the public eye. I can’t define the type of guys I like, I like what I like. I have no particular preference and it takes a lot more than physical attraction for me to start ‘crushing’ on someone.
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Maybe I am the only one?

The Sweet ‘n’ Sour Fruit Tale Part 2

You can read Part 1 here

Over the next 5 years Beth and Arnold still kept in contact. It was usually Arnold who would send Beth messages to check up on her. Then within no time he would disappear off the face of the earth. Beth was used to it; whenever she questioned his disappearances he would avoid the question entirely. Beth assumed she wouldn’t hear from Arnold again when he announced he was moving to another city. Then one day he popped up again…

“Can I ask you a question?” Beth asked out of the blue.

“Sure you can!” Arnold said with a hint of curiosity.

“Why do you keep disappearing?” Beth questioned as she expected the worst.

“Honestly I liked you a lot and I was finding it too hard ” Arnold explained.

For the first time Arnold didn’t avoid the question. Beth was finally able to understand where he was coming from. They were finally getting somewhere after all these years. The best part was the fact Arnold was moving back to her city!

“You inspired me to write a post on my online journal” Beth randomly mentioned in one of their conversations.

Arnold had a tendency to encourage Beth to write on her online journal. He would occasionally read through posts and give her feedback.

“Oh really, I want to read it. Send me the link!” He said as his voice was filled with excitement.

“No, I don’t think I want you to read it” Beth said nervously. Beth was nervous about sending Arnold the link. She didn’t want him to question why she had remembered a conversation they had 5 years ago.

“I’m waiting! You’re breaking my heart” He said jokily. Arnold knew Beth could be a little stubborn. Within no time she sent him the link and asked if he had remembered the conversation.

“Of course I remember!” Arnold said as he chuckled.

“Phew” Beth thought to herself. She felt a sense of relief now she was assured he didn’t think she was crazy.

There were barely any fights or disagreements. However when they fought their exchange of words hit home. Beth and Arnold had planned to meet up for the first time in ages. Beth was a little nervous and Arnold asked if she needed more time. She didn’t- it was a day she had thought about for a very long time. Then a couple days before their planned encounter this happened…

“Are you alive or are you just bored of me?” Arnold asked in a text message.

“I’m alive and I’m not bored of you” She replied swiftly as she anticipated what was to come.

“I feel like we are going backwards. I thought we were moving forward and over the last few days you seem away” He ranted.

Beth was genuinely confused. For the last week or so she was the one to initiate the communication. Arnold had taken a step back and she questioned his lack of conversation, however she didn’t express her feelings vocally.

“I have had a lot on my mind at the minute. If I have been away, it hasn’t been intentional, sorry” Beth explained; she felt like she was apologizing for no reason.

“That’s when you should talk to me, so I know how you’re feeling” He snapped.

“I would have if I needed to. It’s not like I haven’t made contact for ages, I even messaged you yesterday” Beth had a point. They spoke yesterday and even then everything seemed okay.

“I could sense something was up over the last few days, but I guess we can be friends. It’s better than nothing”

“Wow. You’re not listening to me. If I have been slightly away it has nothing to do with you!”

“K” He responded with the dreaded letter that ends conversations promptly. He shut her down, no matter what Beth said he didn’t believe a word of it.

Things took a turn for the worst and the day Beth had waited so long for wasn’t likely to happen. The fruit was slowly becoming sour…

heartapple

Hello Emotions!

Writing 101, Day Fourteen: To Whom It May Concern

I opened a book and the first word I saw was ‘Willing’ on page 29, so I picked up another book and my eyes were drawn to the word ‘Emotions’.

Dear emotions,

Sorry for the time you’ve spent bottled up, I know this wasn’t necessarily the best way to go about things. It was very selfish of me; I hadn’t considered how you must be feeling in all of this. At times I feel it’s best to keep you locked away to prevent you from getting the better of me.

It’s as if I’ve mastered the art of keeping you in a bottle and leaving you at home some days. Sadly to my dismay, there have been days when the bottle has burst unexpectedly and you are finally free. I’m suddenly hit with an overload of mixed emotions that are often hard to get my head around.

I’m learning to deal with you in small doses and so far this technique has helped me a great deal. I’m finding it easier to move on from previous chapters in my life and focus on the present. I’m more than ready for what is to come.

There is no need for me to be afraid of you; I am willing to allow you to show me the way in future. No hard feelings emotions, you are more than welcome to make an appearance. Please promise not to frequently overwhelm me with your presence.

 

Yours Sincerely,

 

Chelle

bottle

The Sweet ‘n’ Sour Fruit Tale Part 1

Writing 101, Day Twelve: (Virtual) Dark Clouds on the Horizon: Write a post inspired by a real-world conversation.

This conversation took place 5 years ago, it is a true story and I still remember it to this day. We’ll call these two Arnold and Beth. They clicked from day one; Arnold found beauty in the way Beth spoke and Beth felt comfortable in Arnold’s presence. Beth struggled to express how she truly felt, so she hid behind her sarcasm and witty remarks. One day Beth started talking in riddles to display her affection. Arnold didn’t look at her like she was crazy or question her sanity, he riddled with her!

“We need to talk”.

“Okay then let’s talk”.

“There is this fruit and sometimes it can be sweet and on the rare occasion its sour. I don’t know which one I’m getting on a daily basis. I’m uncertain if this fruit is constantly this sweet or if it’s only around me. I don’t know if I should bother with this fruit or if I should throw it away. What do you think?”.

“First you need to ask yourself if this fruit gives you food for thought. If you feel like you are stuck in between the fruit being sweet or sour, maybe you should open the fruit up more and then you’ll get to know it a little better”.

” In a way the fruit does give me food for thought, I wouldn’t bother with it if it didn’t. The fruit is intriguing and I think about it a lot. I’m told I keep my guard up, but if I knew more about the fruit, then the fruit may end up finding out more about me”.

” I think you explained it in the best way. Its the fear of not knowing enough about the fruit apart from the sweet layer that makes you wonder if there is anything beneath this layer. I’m pretty sure the fruit would like to know if there are anymore layers to a particular fruit just as much as you do”.

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Arnold attempted to let Beth know how he felt in the past and she pushed him away. Beth hoped the riddling session would open new doors, however she somehow slipped back into her old ways. Arnold was left in a confused state of mind yet again and the sweet ‘n’ sour fruit tale continued!

There’s Something Good In Everyday!

You may feel like the world is on your shoulders and you have nowhere to run. You may feel as though the world is against you and you’re unable to escape your current predicament. It happens to the best of us! I’ve been there and I have memorabilia to prove it! One thing I’ve learned is; moping around doesn’t get you anywhere!

If you feel as though things couldn’t get any worse for you; then prove it to yourself! Don’t dwell on it for too long, wipe your tears and try to make the best of your situation. Tell yourself the only way is up, it does work! Of course your problems will not miraculously disappear overnight (if only it was that easy!), it does takes time!

Some problems are more difficult to solve, this doesn’t necessarily mean there is no way out. If every day was easy, how would you expect to grow as a person? If you were not faced with these challenges, would you be the person you are today?

“Every day may not be a good day, but there is something good in everyday!”

It’s up to us to make a conscious effort to find the good in each day, no matter how big or small! I’ll put my hands up and say that I often overlook so many things in my life. I’ve realised that many of these things are the things that give me life! I strongly believe that there are endless possibilities of better days occurring, when you’re hopeful!

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A Distant Stranger

Imagine you are used to someone’s presence and you can’t imagine life without them. They cross your mind throughout the day, you speak regularly and you enjoy each other’s company. Gradually either of you make an effort to keep in touch. It isn’t a case where you are too busy, something has changed and you can’t put your finger on it. You still care about them and you hope things will be back to normal. Before you know it, the regular contact turns into irregular contact and then it suddenly turns into no contact at all.

Someone from my past came to mind the other morning. It was a dream I had the previous night that triggered my thoughts. I had spent quite some time getting to know this person and we slowly grew apart. We would still talk occasionally, in attempt to hold onto what was already lost. Then reality kicked in after a while and I had to accept that things would never be the same.

"People will forget what you said, people will 
forget what you did, but people will never 
forget the way you made them feel!".

There is so much truth in this quote! Funnily enough I vaguely recall what exactly happened back then, but I can remember exactly how I felt!

How does someone you speak to almost everyday become a distant stranger?