If Everyone Else Can Do It, Why Can’t You?

I had the strangest dream the other night, someone I would least expect to give me life advice said “If everyone else can do it, why can’t you?”. I woke up with no recollection of the rest of the dream other than this person saying this quote to me. I felt as though the person had said this to me face-to-face and knew how I was feeling.

I thought about the quote countless times throughout the following day. If everyone else can do it, why can’t you?...Well? Why can’t I? I thought to myself. There was room for a excuse to be inserted, but instead I had to remind myself that there really is no reason why I can’t do it and there’s no reason why you can’t do it either!
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The Sweet ‘n’ Sour Fruit Tale Part 1

Writing 101, Day Twelve: (Virtual) Dark Clouds on the Horizon: Write a post inspired by a real-world conversation.

This conversation took place 5 years ago, it is a true story and I still remember it to this day. We’ll call these two Arnold and Beth. They clicked from day one; Arnold found beauty in the way Beth spoke and Beth felt comfortable in Arnold’s presence. Beth struggled to express how she truly felt, so she hid behind her sarcasm and witty remarks. One day Beth started talking in riddles to display her affection. Arnold didn’t look at her like she was crazy or question her sanity, he riddled with her!

“We need to talk”.

“Okay then let’s talk”.

“There is this fruit and sometimes it can be sweet and on the rare occasion its sour. I don’t know which one I’m getting on a daily basis. I’m uncertain if this fruit is constantly this sweet or if it’s only around me. I don’t know if I should bother with this fruit or if I should throw it away. What do you think?”.

“First you need to ask yourself if this fruit gives you food for thought. If you feel like you are stuck in between the fruit being sweet or sour, maybe you should open the fruit up more and then you’ll get to know it a little better”.

” In a way the fruit does give me food for thought, I wouldn’t bother with it if it didn’t. The fruit is intriguing and I think about it a lot. I’m told I keep my guard up, but if I knew more about the fruit, then the fruit may end up finding out more about me”.

” I think you explained it in the best way. Its the fear of not knowing enough about the fruit apart from the sweet layer that makes you wonder if there is anything beneath this layer. I’m pretty sure the fruit would like to know if there are anymore layers to a particular fruit just as much as you do”.

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Arnold attempted to let Beth know how he felt in the past and she pushed him away. Beth hoped the riddling session would open new doors, however she somehow slipped back into her old ways. Arnold was left in a confused state of mind yet again and the sweet ‘n’ sour fruit tale continued!

The Tilted Home

I’ve never been able to get my head around people that decide to bring a child into the world, then disappear off the face of the earth. There are people in the world pining for their loved ones who are no longer with us, there are those who are unable to have kids and are longing to be able to hold a child of their own. Then there are ones that give up before they have even begun.

So what if you and the other parent do not get along? This shouldn’t have any impact on your relationship with your child. If the door has been open from the start then there really is no excuse.

If you have the opportunity to get to know your child, then please do! If you do not have the funds then please understand your child will appreciate your visits. Quality time cannot be match up to any amount of money. You may feel you have nothing to offer your child, but a half an hour visit every week might mean the world to them.

If you know you didn’t have the best upbringing, then why not put your energy into ensuring your child does not experience the same. Treat your childhood as an early lesson in parenthood.
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Everyone deserves a chance! Your child is a result of your actions, face up to your responsibilities and don’t have any regrets. She/he didn’t ask to be here, you made it happen!

Being a parent to a child isn’t an on/off relationship. One day everything is peachy and the next you decide you want out, it doesn’t work like that and sadly there are far too many stories similar to this. Your child may have a new step mother or father, but you will always be the one that helped bring them into the world. Take it a little further and be the one that guided them through life. Attend their graduation ceremony and be able to say ‘I’m proud of you’ and know the push in the right direction was down to you.

So when I hear people say don’t be bitter, how can do you explain feeling incomplete? or feeling like you have to compete for the heart of the one you’re dying to greet? Imagine seeing your parent with his/her new family or knowing that they are playing happy families with someone else’s child.

Imagine waiting by the phone for a phone call and not knowing if your parent is still alive. Imagine vaguely remembering what their laugh sounds like and attempting to generate memories of stories that never did unfold. Imagine looking through photo’s and only seeing his/her’s silhouette or finding a photo of the younger you next to a person you feel you’ve barely met.

Why don’t you try to make amends? Well my friend that all depends… If you insist on me reminding them that I still exist. It isn’t a one way street and why should I have to have my actions on repeat? I’ve been the bigger person I’ve been brought up well, but to constantly think people will change I’d have better luck wishing into a wishing well.

I really wish I could take away the pain from those who grew up in these types of households. The classic ‘broken home’; the home isn’t broken, it’s tilted! It still functions correctly I can assure you. You learn to adapt and keep your pride intact.

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~This post is based on my own opinions and I do not intend to offend anyone.