The Great Escape Part 2

Part 1: http://wp.me/p4xLH1-p7

I remained calm and collected as I defended myself. I was being attacked for minor errors, errors I had rectified once they had been addressed and errors that hadn’t even endured. I am open to constructive criticism, however this was something completely different. I felt like I was an outsider looking in; the interpretation of my performance did not match the reality of the situation.

The learning curve I was promised became a myth. I was never given any legitimate guidance or feedback and all the contributions I had made were not recognized. I had supposedly isolated myself in a corner from the start, I was looked in the eye and told I was welcomed with open arms and I wasn’t. The only welcome I received was from the cold air hitting me when I first entered the room. It was probably a warning for what was to come!

agirl

I made a conscious effort to greet everyone each day and it was often one sided, but I still continued to do so. The friendly environment I expected only emerged when outsiders were present. After all the probing, I was the one that allegedly had the problem. I had to escape!

The journey home that day was a blur. I was lost in my thoughts, it was as if I was on an empty train. The sequence of events that had taken place felt so unreal. I thought why me? Day one started to make sense, there were empty desks for a reason. I clearly wasn’t the only one that had been put through this ordeal.

etrain

There was only one other in the same boat as me; the last man standing. I watched as he had his confidence knocked each day. He quickly picked himself up and kept going. In any other situation I would say good on him, but if you were in my shoes you would wonder why he didn’t run with me.

I call this experience ‘The Great Escape’. I wish I could retract this whole chapter- The lesson learned here is to always follow my instincts! I knew something was wrong from the start, but I tried to convince myself otherwise.

Advertisements

The Great Escape Part 1

It was a room full of empty desks with no warmth or interacting going on. There was just silence and animosity in the air. It was a place once described as a fun and friendly environment. It definitely wasn’t living up to its expectations and it was only day one. On paper it looked great, it was right up my street. I ignored my first impressions as I was excited about the new chapter in my life. Little did I know that everything would take a 360 degree spin.

1380003_73116413

True colours slowly started to seep through the cracks in the walls. The tense environment became almost unbearable, it was difficult to get up every morning and convince myself everything was okay. Things weren’t adding up, I felt uneasy and I knew something wasn’t right.

The rumours I had heard through the grapevine were starting to make perfect sense. I needed to know where I stood. I confronted the situation and the response was sugar coated, then put aside as I was reassured all was well. I knew it wasn’t, but I smiled and left it at that.

alone

I was back to being trapped in the corner with no clue what was going on in my own surroundings.  The whispering continued and I tried to take everything in my stride. I wanted this so much and I couldn’t even concentrate.

False accusations started to echo in the room. I was genuinely confused as I was doing everything I was asked to do. I bit my tongue when something out of line had been directed at me. I tried to convince myself it would be worth it, I wanted this for so long.  Dishonesty had now replaced the silence in the room. I couldn’t take it anymore, I knew today was the day.

Part Two: http://wp.me/p4xLH1-4X