14 Things I Learned in 2014

Hey, I can’t believe I haven’t uploaded a blog post since September! The reason behind my blog name is to live life with no excuses, so that is exactly what I have been doing! Here is a list of the things I learned in 2014:

1. There is no such thing as normal

What is normal?

‘conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

Who sets these standards? I’ve been called weird more times than I can count on my fingers. I didn’t quite understand why I was put into this category. I would thoroughly think about my actions to determine what was so abnormal about them.

I’m still yet to come to a conclusion, I do not care for being ‘normal’. I only know how to be Rochelle and I will continue to do so. So the next time someone says ‘You’re so weird ‘or ‘Why are you so weird?’ I will take it as a compliment. Who wants to be normal anyway? 😛

2. I am in control of my emotions

The moment I left ‘self-doubt’ and any fears I had at the back of my mind, I was finally able to live life and experience new walks of life. One day I was so fed up of everything and made a conscious decision to make a change. It didn’t happen overnight, however it did happen so fast that I didn’t have time to think through what was going on.

I started to enjoy life at present and not over think everything or allow any negative thoughts to corrupt my mind. I started feeling happier, braver and most importantly I started to believe in myself more. 

3. My ‘problems’ are minuscule in comparison

Whilst I’m over here stressing over a little breakout or what to wear on a night out, there is someone out there going through something 100 times worse. I have seen true strength over the last few years, some of my loved ones have been through the worst and you would never even know it. Although you can’t run away from your problems, some problems aren’t really problems and it all depends how you perceive them.

4. Partying isn’t the only means of fun

I’m used to seeing people upload pictures of nights out and I sometimes think ‘Aww I’m missing out’. At one stage I thought I was in the boring category when I had no interest in going out, but you know what I’m not a boring person. I have my own idea of ‘fun’ and that’s where the party is at for me. Every once in a while I will throw on a dress, some heels and shake a leg or two, but there is only so much shaking one can do and it becomes repetitive. Quite frankly I would prefer to be snuggled in bed with a cup of green tea and a good read (haha I sound like a right adventurous one right?)

5. I am adventurous

One evening whilst I was on holiday I thought it would be cool to attempt to fly. I’ve seen superheroes do it on TV, so it was only right I put it to the test. OK- I’ll tell you the actual story. I sprained my ankle whilst of holiday last September. Just my luck right? I cannot recall how exactly it happened or how I managed to miss one step (Yes, it was one single step and it wasn’t even that steep). I can assure you that it didn’t stop me from enjoying my girly holiday. I picked myself up and continued with my evening, then I spent the most part of the following day in a Spanish hospital. Unfortunately I was unable to participate in any water activities for the remainder of my holiday. Next time I will stay clear of all stairs, I promise!

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6. Sleep is my sweet remedy

I love waking up feeling refreshed and raring to go. I’m one of those people that aims to go to bed early and it usually work out (Well 9 times out of 10 it does). I must admit the cold weather makes it almost impossible to drag myself out my bed, however once I’m up, I’m up! Gone are the days when I force myself to stay up and find some sort of entertainment. My duvet, pillow and iPod are my means of late night entertainment. By 10pm I have already planned the last few tasks before I hit the sheets.

7. There is no ‘happy’ in settling

If you have experienced waking up and having to mentally prepare yourself for a day filled with activities you dread- you will understand where I am coming from! I have spent days counting down the hours till I am finally free. The moment I’m free, I’m happy and in my element. There was a period of time where I woke up feeling excited and I looked forward to the day ahead. I loved what I was doing at this time and it was a highlight of my year. I will return here again. Always be grateful for what you have right in front of you, we have to do what we have to do to make ends meet, but do we really need to compromise our happiness for XYZ?      

8. I like my own company

I always have… I don’t get bored of my own company. I’m the kind of person that will go out and socialize from time to time, but after a while I need ME time. Not because I am depressed or in an emotional state, this is how I operate. ‘Don’t take it personally’

9. If everybody is going left and I want to go right, go right!

Just for the sake of it! It may be the wrong choice, but at the end of the day it was my choice. I don’t need to be where everyone else is.

10. Wasted time is worse than wasted money

This one speaks for itself. I can forget about the money I’ve put towards overindulging in my favourite snacks; however my time is so precious. Money can be made to replace what is lost; I can’t get back the time I’ve wasted on people or things. I often think about all the time I have invested in other people and irrelevant activities and if I could turn back the hands of time I would have thought twice about doing so. Note to self: set aside time to invest in yourself frequently. You live and you learn!

11. There is a first time for everything

It’s been a while since I could talk about any new experiences. I would avoid answering questions like ‘When was the last time you tried something new?’ because knowing me I would answer with ‘Yesterday I tried Texas BBQ flavoured pringles’ – The sad truth is that was as exciting as my life was.

As some of you know I had never been on a plane, I hadn’t even spent more than 5 days away from home. 25 years on the planet and the only place I really knew of was ‘Home’ (London). Towards the end of 2013 my friends and I discussed going on a girly holiday. At that point in the time I wasn’t sure how I would get there, but I did! I spent 7 days in Ibiza with 8 other girls which was a little out of my comfort zone (I’m not a party girl!). The holiday opened my eyes to the unforeseen and I cherished every minute of it. Now to plan where I’m off to next!

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12. I am a blogger!

Yes blogging is my thing! I have my own domain name and the freedom to write about whatever I like until my hearts content! 

In April 2014 I decided to write a blog, I had no idea what to name my blog or what I was going to write about. I’m not one to express myself in so many words to any and everyone; however blogging was a whole new world to me and there was no looking back once I started. Before I knew it I was hooked on my blog and my blog has kept me going. In the past I’ve struggled to write 500 words about myself and here I am publishing my 80th post. Whoop!

13. Turning 25 wasn’t the end of the world

To be honest I do not feel 25- I’m still young at heart and there’s no reason for me to act my age. I’m over my ‘OMG I’m not married or in my dream job role yet’ rant. My life doesn’t have to be in order at this point in time. This year was spent investing valuable time into figuring out where my interests lie and it has worked in my favour. I will make mistakes like everyone else and pick myself up and keep going.Things will fall into place when the time is right.

14. I am whatever I believe I am

If I think I’m incapable of being the best I can be, I will portray this to the world and the world will respond to this. I have been working hard to ensure I feed my body with healthy foods and control the amount of junk food I consume mentally. I was afraid to be happy due to past experiences; I was stuck in a loop where I imagined everything being taken away from me in a blink of an eye. I believe there is so much more out there for me and I am going to go and get mine! If everyone else can do it, why can’t I?

2 0 1 5 I’m ready for you!

Here’s to Living with no excuses

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You Are Whatever You Believe You Are

Lately I’ve been so wrapped in my thoughts and this time around its helped me a great deal. It’s been an odd year to say the least. I had high hopes of a lot of things and ended up with so many disappointments. I was looking forward to new ventures and ended up in horrible situations I’d rather forget.

The first part of the year is a blur; the less I think about it… The better! Many of the people I met were nothing more than a mere lesson. I attended a pity party for one and thought to myself ‘Why me?’ ‘What did I do to deserve this?’, I had to leave the party early- it wasn’t my scene!

I spent far too much time dwelling on things in the past instead of working on improving my year. I am a bit of a worrier at the worst of times, I had to turn things around and I’ve come to the conclusion that I am in fact a warrior! I’ve put on a brave face and soldiered on and I will continue to do so!

Surround yourself with those who uplift you

I posted a poem I wrote called ‘Don’t take it personally’ and although I strongly believe time away from loved ones is needed, it is also crucial to vent every once in a while. Not everyone will be able to offer you the advice you need, however it will help you feel better and vice versa. Keeping things bottled up all the time will not harm anyone but yourself. Not everyone will have your best interest at heart, it is up to you who you decide who’s shoulder to cry on and in due time you will discover who is really down for you.

you can’t help others until you help yourself

I hate seeing my friends down in the dumps and I try the hardest to lift their spirits, but I found it so difficult to do so when I wasn’t feeling 100%. I kinda thought I would be of no help since I was struggling to help myself… I was totally wrong here, it’s possible!

My friend was in a similar situation to me, we were pretty much in the same boat to be honest. Every time we spoke he would offer me encouragement and advice. The last time we spoke I discovered he had found an escape, he knew what he wanted and he got it, one of the last things he said to me that day was ‘Sometimes you just have to go out and get it Rochelle’.

I woke up the next day feeling much more motivated. I could see my friend had removed himself from somewhere he wasn’t happy and made some progress. I was happy for him. By now I knew it was my turn, I had nothing to lose after all.

One minute I was counting my misfortunes and the next I was counting my blessings

I recall feeling so angry about EVERYTHING. I walked around feeling like the world was on my shoulders. I overlooked all the good things in my life and when I read about so & so doing XYZ I felt like crap. My automatic response to ‘how are you?’ was never a simple ‘I’m fine’ it was always ‘I’m fine, but..’ but what? I had to remind myself that I am alive, healthy, I have a wonderful family, a great set of friends, a job and so much more. I stopped complaining so much and refrained from driving myself crazy with my thoughts. In no time I noticed a big difference… I started to feel a lot better about all aspects of my life, then I started to see results.

Not everyone will understand your journey, but its okay its not theirs to understand

YESSS, please read the above again. Lately people don’t seem to understand why I am so content. ‘Don’t you have any complaints?’ ‘You’re telling me everything is A-OK?’ Yup that’s exactly what I’m telling you. I keep getting questioned about what is happening in my life lately and why I don’t want to divulge. As long as I’m doing okay that is all that matters- right? I’ve never felt the need to explain the in’s and out’s of what is going on in my life to any and everyone.

Don’t be afraid to be happy

Another blogger said this to me a few months ago.  Its taken me a long time to process the last month or so. It feels so unreal and unlike the beginning of the year, this is a good thing! I’ve proved to myself that when I put my mind to it, I can achieve it! There’s no reason why I can’t live happily like everyone else!

Its all down to my thoughts at the end of the day. If I keep feeding my body with junk food how can I expect to be healthy, its the same with my thoughts.. How can I expect a positive outcome with negativity running through my veins? It doesn’t work like that!

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The Day I Found My Mojo

Writing 101, Day Thirteen: Serial Killer II Write about finding something. For your twist, view day four’s post and today’s post as installments in a series. 

Read my Day Four post here

Mojo found his way back to me in no time, he never let’s me down! I woke up feeling like myself again and when I looked over my shoulder he was right there beside me. Coincidentally my insomnia has been cured!

Mojo bought me a box of my favourite chocolates, unfortunately I cannot eat chocolate anymore. Nevertheless I’m happy to have my motivation back, now its time to go in for the kill!!
mojo-and-chocoOh looks its Mojo and a box of choco!

Photo credit: http://about.me/julientromeur

Hello Emotions!

Writing 101, Day Fourteen: To Whom It May Concern

I opened a book and the first word I saw was ‘Willing’ on page 29, so I picked up another book and my eyes were drawn to the word ‘Emotions’.

Dear emotions,

Sorry for the time you’ve spent bottled up, I know this wasn’t necessarily the best way to go about things. It was very selfish of me; I hadn’t considered how you must be feeling in all of this. At times I feel it’s best to keep you locked away to prevent you from getting the better of me.

It’s as if I’ve mastered the art of keeping you in a bottle and leaving you at home some days. Sadly to my dismay, there have been days when the bottle has burst unexpectedly and you are finally free. I’m suddenly hit with an overload of mixed emotions that are often hard to get my head around.

I’m learning to deal with you in small doses and so far this technique has helped me a great deal. I’m finding it easier to move on from previous chapters in my life and focus on the present. I’m more than ready for what is to come.

There is no need for me to be afraid of you; I am willing to allow you to show me the way in future. No hard feelings emotions, you are more than welcome to make an appearance. Please promise not to frequently overwhelm me with your presence.

 

Yours Sincerely,

 

Chelle

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Self-Love Vs. Self-Hatred

Writing 101, Day Seven: Give and TakeWrite a post based on the contrast between two things — whether people, objects, emotions, places, or something else.

Self-Love= SL
Self-Hatred= SH

SL: I look beautiful today! My skin is glowing!
SH: Who am I trying to kid? My skin looks terrible!
SL: Maybe I’ll wear the new dress I purchased yesterday.
SH: Second thoughts I don’t want to draw any attention to myself.
SL: I don’t care what anyone thinks! Every spoil is a style.
SH: I wonder what people will think of me if I wear it.
SL: As long as I’m comfortable that’s all that matters!
SH: I think I’ll wear jeans and a t-shirt instead that way no one will notice me. I’m returning the dress.

SL: The world is my oyster, there are so many possibilities!
SH: Ugh my life sucks, I was born unlucky!
SL: I know my capabilities and strengths, I will go far!
SH: I have so many weaknesses, I’m never going to get where I want to be.
SL: This job is right up my street! I’m going for it!
SH: Why would they choose me? There’s probably someone better suited.
SL: You know what; I love being me! I’m not perfect, but I will always try my hardest to better myself.
SH: I wonder what it would feel like to be someone else for a day. Things never go my way, I give up!
SL: If I can’t love myself, how can I expect anyone else to?

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What’s In The Box? (It’s My Birthday!)

box

Each year my loved ones ask what I would like for my birthday. I usually browse the internet searching for possible gifts and then I narrow down the list.

Two years ago I jokily asked for a money tree (as you do) and to my surprise my friend turned up at my doorstep with a money plant. Luckily he didn’t take it literally and think I was after money! It was as if he could see beneath the surface; he completely understood that there was some truth in my joke. I was amazed by the fact that he had given my gift so much thought and his gift still means so much to me!

“I promised to take care of Monty The Money Maker and rub his leaves regularly”.

Recently I was asked what I wanted for my birthday and my reply was “I would like a box” A box? Yes, a box of happiness! The responses I received were along the lines of “Wouldn’t you prefer something more realistic like shoes or clothes Rochelle?” You mean materialistic? To me what I’m asking for is as realistic as it gets.

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I would be lying if I said material things didn’t make me happy. I would love a new wardrobe so I could reenact London Fashion Week on my daily strolls! However, if I mistake a new wardrobe for anything more than short term happiness it will only lead me back to square one.

I’m not knocking material gifts; I am so grateful for all the gifts I receive, I’m merely looking at things from a different perspective! Gifts are a way of showing affection, they can come in many forms and they serve the purpose of making the receiver happy. But what about the non-materialistic things we often take for granted that contribute to our long term happiness?

I know you can’t put happiness in a box and hand it to someone, but if my loved ones were to hand me an empty box it would speak volumes! The last year has been a roller-coaster and they have been by my side every step of the way. Little do they know that they have all contributed to my happiness! I am truly blessed beyond measure! All I ask is that they continue to fill my life with joy…

So what else is in this box of happiness besides my family and friends? Everything I’m grateful for..

  • The knowledge I’ve gained
  • The lessons I’ve learned

And last but not least, the little things!

I’m so thankful for the present, I will remind myself that it is gift and undoubtedly the greatest gift I will ever receive!

Happy Birthday to me! One year older, one year wiser!ballonies

Do You Really Need Someone?

We all need someone whether we want to admit it or not. I’m sure you can think of a few people you need in your life! I’m talking about in general, but I want to touch on the subject on a personal level! In theory we are all born alone and we die alone. However many of us feel as though we want or need a companion, it’s natural!

I asked my friend if he thought there were people that genuinely wanted to be alone long term and he said ‘Yes’. I’m unable to apprehend why anyone would choose to be alone long term, although it isn’t hard to understand what may have triggered their thoughts which lead to their decision. Surely there must be a part of them that desires some sort of a companionship?

What are your thoughts?

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