I’m In Competition With No One!

I once had this so called friend that had trouble offering encouragement or guidance. Instead he would take great pleasure in trying to make me feel like absolute crap. He would start off a conversation and for the first few seconds I was lead to believe he was interested in me. Within no time I realised he only wanted to talk about himself and all the things he had done.

He would talk the talk, but he wasn’t necessarily walking the walk. It was always “Hi, what are you doing with your life?” then the rest of the conversation revolved around him in one way or another. There was never any real interest in how I was as person. If I said I had walked 5 miles that day, he would say he had walked 10 miles and so on.

He would tell me I was being too picky for going for what I wanted in life and make out my goals were impossible to reach. Then in the same breath he was striving for the same and struggling to get where he wanted to be. “Isn’t it too late for you?” He once asked me. I laughed to myself, why would it be too late? I’m still living and breathing so how is it too late? Is there a time limit I’m unaware of?

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The funny thing is he was in a similar predicament to me! Although he would never admit it, since he tried to glamorize his life each time he told one of his tales. I can understand him wanting the grass to look greener on his side and this being his way of dealing with his situation. However there is no need to put others down!

One day it hit me…Why am I entertaining him? Why am I  justifying myself? It’s my life! He clearly got kicks out of trying to put me down or he was seeking a confidence boost, but trying to compete with me will not help the issues under the surface. If this is the kind antics you carry on with, then you my friend are not my friend!

There is no competition, there is no finish line and you have not won! There was never a race; the only race anyone should have to put before them is the race against time. You may have exceeded your goals and people’s expectations, but please take a minute to come back down to earth.

I am taking a leaf out of my own book and resorting back to keeping my personal life goals-personal. If I’m winning then its’ because I’m competing against myself, if I’m ever losing then it’s up to me to decide this and continue to strive for what I want.

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9 Lessons I’ve Learned From My Mum

1. Take everyone with a pinch of salt
Not everyone will be to your liking. People have said that I see the best in people and this isn’t necessarily the case. I’m far from naive; I’ve been taught that giving people the power to annoy me will not benefit me in the long run. There are situations that could have turned out the complete opposite, but I refused to let people get the better of me. Of course there are times when this is hard to do, I am only human! Accept differences whenever possible and keep it moving!
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2. Every spoil is a style
There have been a few times I’ve questioned my mum’s outfits, although she wears her clothes well! My mum responds with her famous line “I paid for it, it’s clean and I didn’t rob anyone. So I will wear whatever I want”. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in!

3. Dance like nobody is watching
No matter what the occasion is my mum will dance the day or night away. She is the party! Wherever there is music she will dance, even if there isn’t music I can guarantee she will make her own. I’ve been in the middle of a conversation with her and I’ve turned around to find her dancing on the other side of the room. Dance your troubles away!
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4. Don’t put dampers on it
If I’m frowning and my mum enters the room, I know I have to turn that frown upside down ASAP! She will question me and once I begin to reply, she will cut me off and say “I don’t want any negativity in here” then a little rant will follow this. You may be wondering why she didn’t give me a chance to reply, this is her method of helping me get back on track and it works! I grew up on tough love and it didn’t do me any harm! Try to remain positive!

5. Do not rely on anyone
No expectations = No disappointments. If someone pulls through, then great! If they don’t, no biggie! We all need a helping hand from time to time, however if you can do it yourself then…

6. Do it yourself
I can’t even count the amount of times I have witnessed my mum do things I wouldn’t even imagine doing. Whilst my friends were playing outside; I was inside helping my mum plaster a ceiling or assisting her as she built a wardrobe from scratch! I remember a neighbour saying that my mum and another lady on my street were manlier than all the men on the street put together (There was a compliment in there somewhere I promise lol). If my mum can do it, so can I! I am not implying that I will be making a wardrobe from scratch though.
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7. Friends come and go
Over the years I have realised the amount of friends I have is insignificant. I can count all my friends on one hand and that’s okay because they are the ones that have been there for the long haul. My mum would tell me about what to expect in terms of friendship groups and I didn’t imagine it coming true. I guess my mum knows best!

8. Passion is your oyster
I’ve never come across anyone as passionate as my mum. I almost feel as though I’m looking into her heart as she talks. She was lucky enough to find her passion at a young age and it is has stuck with her to this day.
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9. One kindness deserves another
I consider this to be my mum’s all time favourite quote. She has mentioned this quote over and over recently. I can hear her in my head right now saying this quote to my brother. If someone is kind to you, be kind back!

 

10 Of My Biggest Life Lessons

I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately. I thought about some of the things I have learned over the years. Here is a collection of 10 of my biggest life lessons:

1. Accept compliments!

Don’t question everyone that compliments you. I’m pretty? What me? Really? On what planet? Are you sure? All this is unnecessary, a simple thank you will do. Let it sink in, it was a compliment directed at you, enjoy!

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2. Spontaneity is the way forward

Being spontaneous is the best way to go. Some of the most memorable outings have been unplanned. Is it me or does planning sometimes suck out all the fun from the get go? When my friends call with last minute plans; 98% of the time we have the most fun! I find it’s the events that take longer to organise that don’t always end well.

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3. There is no obligation

If you don’t want to do something, don’t! The keyword here is “Obligation”, if it is your job/duty to do so, I’m advising you to do it! This applies to other scenarios.. We sometimes do things to please others and there is no harm in doing so! However, if something isn’t your cup of tea, don’t feel as though you always have to say yes. With that being said, always make sure you are at least being open minded which brings me to my next lesson…

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4. Be open minded

Explore other options and leave your comfort zone once in a while. Your friends may have invited you to a Roller Disco, you’ve never been, but for some reason you don’t want to go. Think of all the reasons why you don’t want to go and weight up your options. If sitting at home watching TV is your only other option, then why not at least give it a go. It is an opportunity to try something new with the possibility of meeting new people. Once you’ve tried it, you can then cross it off your list! Sitting too comfortably in the comfortable zone could mean you are missing out in the long run.

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5. You don’t need to justify yourself!

My mum has been saying this to me for years. If you make a decision, it is your choice to go ahead with it. If you are happy with your decision and it isn’t affecting anyone else; why do you need to explain yourself? People can plug you all they want, but it is your prerogative to divulge. Try it one day; instead of replying with a full blown reply to justify yourself, say you did it because you wanted to.

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6. Not everyone is going to like you!

Don’t spend time thinking through the reasons why someone could possibly dislike you. Throw that thought to the back of your mind. If someone wants to waste time and energy hating you, then leave them to it! You have bigger fish to fry my friend! Always remind yourself which bill of yours they are contributing to. Oh… they don’t pay any of your bills?

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7. Leave the excuses at home!

We all do it. We get to work a little late and say “My alarm didn’t go off”, when deep down we know it did! Admit it, your Pillow asked you to stay 5 mins longer and you couldn’t resist! One day I was running a little late for work, I had already thought of an excuse to use, instead I said ”Today I was disorganized, I need to sort out my time management”. My manager did not expect that response, he let it slide due to me being honest. Take responsibility for your actions!

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8. Kill them with kindness!

This can apply to all aspects of your life. If anyone has anything bad to say about you, be kind!  Do not stoop to their level; I know it’s easier said than done, but at the end of the day they are only making themselves look bad! If you know it is out of character for you to mirror their actions, then continue as you were. At least no one can badmouth you for being too kind.

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9. Voice your opinions

If you have something to say, say it! Don’t be that person that has a zillion things going through their mind throughout a discussion, yet hesitates to say a word. Be bold; bring it to light, there and then! I was once a very shy girl. I would sit quietly in the corner and barely say anything to anyone. You know that saying “The shy girl catches the worm”, she doesn’t!  (I’m aware this isn’t the actual saying). I wasn’t put on this earth to mimic a tree, no sir! Now I’ve started, I can’t stop and won’t stop!

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10. Be yourself

You are unique, so embrace it! Do whatever blows your hair back. You are a one off, limited edition, non-refundable, non-exchangeable bundle of delightfulness. It’s kind of like when you are proposing your business idea, there’s always a unique selling point. Remind yourself of your unique qualities and run with it!

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You Live and You Learn!