I opened a book and the first word I saw was ‘Willing’ on page 29, so I picked up another book and my eyes were drawn to the word ‘Emotions’.
Sorry for the time you’ve spent bottled up, I know this wasn’t necessarily the best way to go about things. It was very selfish of me; I hadn’t considered how you must be feeling in all of this. At times I feel it’s best to keep you locked away to prevent you from getting the better of me.
It’s as if I’ve mastered the art of keeping you in a bottle and leaving you at home some days. Sadly to my dismay, there have been days when the bottle has burst unexpectedly and you are finally free. I’m suddenly hit with an overload of mixed emotions that are often hard to get my head around.
I’m learning to deal with you in small doses and so far this technique has helped me a great deal. I’m finding it easier to move on from previous chapters in my life and focus on the present. I’m more than ready for what is to come.
There is no need for me to be afraid of you; I am willing to allow you to show me the way in future. No hard feelings emotions, you are more than welcome to make an appearance. Please promise not to frequently overwhelm me with your presence.
I quickly turned around to see if I could catch a glimpse of the person that had left the letter behind, but there was no one around. I carefully read through the letter as I tried to figure out who could have possibly sent it.
The letter wasn’t addressed to anyone using a specific name; the sender hadn’t signed their name and they didn’t leave any contact details either. Perhaps the sender didn’t want to reveal their identity and they were afraid of the response?
Perhaps the recipient darted off in disperse after being taken aback by the content in the letter and left it behind? I wonder how the recipient is coping right now, I can’t imagine how they must be feeling! How do I trace either of these people? I have so many questions and there’s no one present to answer them.
I started writing this post a few weeks ago, I was inspired by Anastasia’s post Lightbringer. Have a little read, you will understand the connection… I hope! I found her post thought provoking and I immediately started to think about taking risks and the fear of rejection. I love the ending in particular.
For as long as I can remember, you have always tried your hardest to be a part of my life. You were always the unwanted guest that insisted on staying beyond your non-existent welcome. I stupidly let you stay and you admittedly corrupted my thoughts. You would whisper in my ear right before I had plucked up enough courage to take action; implying that it was almost impossible for me to succeed and I believed you!
In the past you made it seem like hearing the word ‘No’ was the worst thing in the world. Instead of encouraging me to go ahead and take risks; you somehow convinced me to take a back seat and watch… Watch possibly the best thing that could ever happen to me, happen to someone else or not happen at all! Unfortunately, I’m now left with a heap of what if’s.
I now realise that there is a 50/50 chance of hearing ‘No’ and a 50/50 chance of hearing ‘Yes’. No one likes being rejected; however rejection is a part of life! I hear the word ‘No’ all the time and it is inevitable that I will hear it again! The same goes for hearing the word ‘Yes’! I’ve learned that I will never know the outcome unless I go for it and who knows I may be pleasantly surprised.
I’ve always told myself that I would never allow anyone to have control over me, then right before my eyes you somehow managed to manipulate my thoughts. I often wonder how life would have been if I hadn’t met you or if I had stood up to you sooner. Your visits are less frequent nowadays, I don’t feel obliged to open the door to you anymore and I’m starting to think that you get the picture.
So Fear, how will you attempt to obstruct my thoughts today? You won’t! I won’t let you interfere anymore, you have caused enough damage! Please understand that you are no longer welcome here.