14 Things I Learned in 2014

Hey, I can’t believe I haven’t uploaded a blog post since September! The reason behind my blog name is to live life with no excuses, so that is exactly what I have been doing! Here is a list of the things I learned in 2014:

1. There is no such thing as normal

What is normal?

‘conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

Who sets these standards? I’ve been called weird more times than I can count on my fingers. I didn’t quite understand why I was put into this category. I would thoroughly think about my actions to determine what was so abnormal about them.

I’m still yet to come to a conclusion, I do not care for being ‘normal’. I only know how to be Rochelle and I will continue to do so. So the next time someone says ‘You’re so weird ‘or ‘Why are you so weird?’ I will take it as a compliment. Who wants to be normal anyway? 😛

2. I am in control of my emotions

The moment I left ‘self-doubt’ and any fears I had at the back of my mind, I was finally able to live life and experience new walks of life. One day I was so fed up of everything and made a conscious decision to make a change. It didn’t happen overnight, however it did happen so fast that I didn’t have time to think through what was going on.

I started to enjoy life at present and not over think everything or allow any negative thoughts to corrupt my mind. I started feeling happier, braver and most importantly I started to believe in myself more. 

3. My ‘problems’ are minuscule in comparison

Whilst I’m over here stressing over a little breakout or what to wear on a night out, there is someone out there going through something 100 times worse. I have seen true strength over the last few years, some of my loved ones have been through the worst and you would never even know it. Although you can’t run away from your problems, some problems aren’t really problems and it all depends how you perceive them.

4. Partying isn’t the only means of fun

I’m used to seeing people upload pictures of nights out and I sometimes think ‘Aww I’m missing out’. At one stage I thought I was in the boring category when I had no interest in going out, but you know what I’m not a boring person. I have my own idea of ‘fun’ and that’s where the party is at for me. Every once in a while I will throw on a dress, some heels and shake a leg or two, but there is only so much shaking one can do and it becomes repetitive. Quite frankly I would prefer to be snuggled in bed with a cup of green tea and a good read (haha I sound like a right adventurous one right?)

5. I am adventurous

One evening whilst I was on holiday I thought it would be cool to attempt to fly. I’ve seen superheroes do it on TV, so it was only right I put it to the test. OK- I’ll tell you the actual story. I sprained my ankle whilst of holiday last September. Just my luck right? I cannot recall how exactly it happened or how I managed to miss one step (Yes, it was one single step and it wasn’t even that steep). I can assure you that it didn’t stop me from enjoying my girly holiday. I picked myself up and continued with my evening, then I spent the most part of the following day in a Spanish hospital. Unfortunately I was unable to participate in any water activities for the remainder of my holiday. Next time I will stay clear of all stairs, I promise!

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6. Sleep is my sweet remedy

I love waking up feeling refreshed and raring to go. I’m one of those people that aims to go to bed early and it usually work out (Well 9 times out of 10 it does). I must admit the cold weather makes it almost impossible to drag myself out my bed, however once I’m up, I’m up! Gone are the days when I force myself to stay up and find some sort of entertainment. My duvet, pillow and iPod are my means of late night entertainment. By 10pm I have already planned the last few tasks before I hit the sheets.

7. There is no ‘happy’ in settling

If you have experienced waking up and having to mentally prepare yourself for a day filled with activities you dread- you will understand where I am coming from! I have spent days counting down the hours till I am finally free. The moment I’m free, I’m happy and in my element. There was a period of time where I woke up feeling excited and I looked forward to the day ahead. I loved what I was doing at this time and it was a highlight of my year. I will return here again. Always be grateful for what you have right in front of you, we have to do what we have to do to make ends meet, but do we really need to compromise our happiness for XYZ?      

8. I like my own company

I always have… I don’t get bored of my own company. I’m the kind of person that will go out and socialize from time to time, but after a while I need ME time. Not because I am depressed or in an emotional state, this is how I operate. ‘Don’t take it personally’

9. If everybody is going left and I want to go right, go right!

Just for the sake of it! It may be the wrong choice, but at the end of the day it was my choice. I don’t need to be where everyone else is.

10. Wasted time is worse than wasted money

This one speaks for itself. I can forget about the money I’ve put towards overindulging in my favourite snacks; however my time is so precious. Money can be made to replace what is lost; I can’t get back the time I’ve wasted on people or things. I often think about all the time I have invested in other people and irrelevant activities and if I could turn back the hands of time I would have thought twice about doing so. Note to self: set aside time to invest in yourself frequently. You live and you learn!

11. There is a first time for everything

It’s been a while since I could talk about any new experiences. I would avoid answering questions like ‘When was the last time you tried something new?’ because knowing me I would answer with ‘Yesterday I tried Texas BBQ flavoured pringles’ – The sad truth is that was as exciting as my life was.

As some of you know I had never been on a plane, I hadn’t even spent more than 5 days away from home. 25 years on the planet and the only place I really knew of was ‘Home’ (London). Towards the end of 2013 my friends and I discussed going on a girly holiday. At that point in the time I wasn’t sure how I would get there, but I did! I spent 7 days in Ibiza with 8 other girls which was a little out of my comfort zone (I’m not a party girl!). The holiday opened my eyes to the unforeseen and I cherished every minute of it. Now to plan where I’m off to next!

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12. I am a blogger!

Yes blogging is my thing! I have my own domain name and the freedom to write about whatever I like until my hearts content! 

In April 2014 I decided to write a blog, I had no idea what to name my blog or what I was going to write about. I’m not one to express myself in so many words to any and everyone; however blogging was a whole new world to me and there was no looking back once I started. Before I knew it I was hooked on my blog and my blog has kept me going. In the past I’ve struggled to write 500 words about myself and here I am publishing my 80th post. Whoop!

13. Turning 25 wasn’t the end of the world

To be honest I do not feel 25- I’m still young at heart and there’s no reason for me to act my age. I’m over my ‘OMG I’m not married or in my dream job role yet’ rant. My life doesn’t have to be in order at this point in time. This year was spent investing valuable time into figuring out where my interests lie and it has worked in my favour. I will make mistakes like everyone else and pick myself up and keep going.Things will fall into place when the time is right.

14. I am whatever I believe I am

If I think I’m incapable of being the best I can be, I will portray this to the world and the world will respond to this. I have been working hard to ensure I feed my body with healthy foods and control the amount of junk food I consume mentally. I was afraid to be happy due to past experiences; I was stuck in a loop where I imagined everything being taken away from me in a blink of an eye. I believe there is so much more out there for me and I am going to go and get mine! If everyone else can do it, why can’t I?

2 0 1 5 I’m ready for you!

Here’s to Living with no excuses

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If Everyone Else Can Do It, Why Can’t You?

I had the strangest dream the other night, someone I would least expect to give me life advice said “If everyone else can do it, why can’t you?”. I woke up with no recollection of the rest of the dream other than this person saying this quote to me. I felt as though the person had said this to me face-to-face and knew how I was feeling.

I thought about the quote countless times throughout the following day. If everyone else can do it, why can’t you?...Well? Why can’t I? I thought to myself. There was room for a excuse to be inserted, but instead I had to remind myself that there really is no reason why I can’t do it and there’s no reason why you can’t do it either!
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Don’t Take It Personally

I’m alone
I’m in my zone
You can still contact me via the web or phone
My thoughts are occupying me
I’m trying to bring out the best in me
At times I feel like God is testing me
I’m never off the radar for too long
I’m not ignoring anyone so please don’t get me wrong
Bear with me until I see the light
I’ll make an appearance when the time is right
Don’t take it personally

There are days I like to be alone with my thoughts. I find there is always that one person that tends to take it personally…

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5 Tips For Getting Your Motivation (Mojo) Back 

Writing 101, Day Sixteen: Serial Killer III– Imagine you work in a place where you manage lost or forgotten items. What might you find in the pile? I took an alternative approach for this assignment…

1. Reevaluate your goals 
Over time things change, we change. The things we once wanted turn into the unwanted. There’s no point convincing ourselves that we want the unwanted, dig a little deeper and start over if you need to.

2. Talk to someone 
I have friends that allow me to vent and vice versa. I never feel like I’m being judged by them; they listen, advise and encourage me. Reach out to someone in your life that fits the bill.

3. Write your feelings down 
6 months down the line you may feel like you’re losing your motivation again. Use your diary to understand how you felt and how you worked towards getting your motivation back. It’s not dwelling on the past; it’s reminding yourself how far you’ve come and helping to get you back on track.

4. Write your goals in list form
I made a bucket list and posted it. I have more goals which I have elsewhere for personal reasons. Glance over your list regularly, imagine you are about to perform your favourite song on stage and keep repeating your list to yourself.

5. Picture it
You can make your own collage for your bedroom or pretty much anywhere! Wherever you are you can look at all the beautiful things you desire. Pinterest is a great app to use; I dabble in it when I’m on the go.

And if you still can’t find your Mojo, you can share mine 😀
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Read about The Day I Lost My Mojo here

Photo credit: http://about.me/julientromeur

Hello Emotions!

Writing 101, Day Fourteen: To Whom It May Concern

I opened a book and the first word I saw was ‘Willing’ on page 29, so I picked up another book and my eyes were drawn to the word ‘Emotions’.

Dear emotions,

Sorry for the time you’ve spent bottled up, I know this wasn’t necessarily the best way to go about things. It was very selfish of me; I hadn’t considered how you must be feeling in all of this. At times I feel it’s best to keep you locked away to prevent you from getting the better of me.

It’s as if I’ve mastered the art of keeping you in a bottle and leaving you at home some days. Sadly to my dismay, there have been days when the bottle has burst unexpectedly and you are finally free. I’m suddenly hit with an overload of mixed emotions that are often hard to get my head around.

I’m learning to deal with you in small doses and so far this technique has helped me a great deal. I’m finding it easier to move on from previous chapters in my life and focus on the present. I’m more than ready for what is to come.

There is no need for me to be afraid of you; I am willing to allow you to show me the way in future. No hard feelings emotions, you are more than welcome to make an appearance. Please promise not to frequently overwhelm me with your presence.

 

Yours Sincerely,

 

Chelle

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The Tilted Home

I’ve never been able to get my head around people that decide to bring a child into the world, then disappear off the face of the earth. There are people in the world pining for their loved ones who are no longer with us, there are those who are unable to have kids and are longing to be able to hold a child of their own. Then there are ones that give up before they have even begun.

So what if you and the other parent do not get along? This shouldn’t have any impact on your relationship with your child. If the door has been open from the start then there really is no excuse.

If you have the opportunity to get to know your child, then please do! If you do not have the funds then please understand your child will appreciate your visits. Quality time cannot be match up to any amount of money. You may feel you have nothing to offer your child, but a half an hour visit every week might mean the world to them.

If you know you didn’t have the best upbringing, then why not put your energy into ensuring your child does not experience the same. Treat your childhood as an early lesson in parenthood.
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Everyone deserves a chance! Your child is a result of your actions, face up to your responsibilities and don’t have any regrets. She/he didn’t ask to be here, you made it happen!

Being a parent to a child isn’t an on/off relationship. One day everything is peachy and the next you decide you want out, it doesn’t work like that and sadly there are far too many stories similar to this. Your child may have a new step mother or father, but you will always be the one that helped bring them into the world. Take it a little further and be the one that guided them through life. Attend their graduation ceremony and be able to say ‘I’m proud of you’ and know the push in the right direction was down to you.

So when I hear people say don’t be bitter, how can do you explain feeling incomplete? or feeling like you have to compete for the heart of the one you’re dying to greet? Imagine seeing your parent with his/her new family or knowing that they are playing happy families with someone else’s child.

Imagine waiting by the phone for a phone call and not knowing if your parent is still alive. Imagine vaguely remembering what their laugh sounds like and attempting to generate memories of stories that never did unfold. Imagine looking through photo’s and only seeing his/her’s silhouette or finding a photo of the younger you next to a person you feel you’ve barely met.

Why don’t you try to make amends? Well my friend that all depends… If you insist on me reminding them that I still exist. It isn’t a one way street and why should I have to have my actions on repeat? I’ve been the bigger person I’ve been brought up well, but to constantly think people will change I’d have better luck wishing into a wishing well.

I really wish I could take away the pain from those who grew up in these types of households. The classic ‘broken home’; the home isn’t broken, it’s tilted! It still functions correctly I can assure you. You learn to adapt and keep your pride intact.

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~This post is based on my own opinions and I do not intend to offend anyone.

9 Lessons I’ve Learned From My Mum

1. Take everyone with a pinch of salt
Not everyone will be to your liking. People have said that I see the best in people and this isn’t necessarily the case. I’m far from naive; I’ve been taught that giving people the power to annoy me will not benefit me in the long run. There are situations that could have turned out the complete opposite, but I refused to let people get the better of me. Of course there are times when this is hard to do, I am only human! Accept differences whenever possible and keep it moving!
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2. Every spoil is a style
There have been a few times I’ve questioned my mum’s outfits, although she wears her clothes well! My mum responds with her famous line “I paid for it, it’s clean and I didn’t rob anyone. So I will wear whatever I want”. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in!

3. Dance like nobody is watching
No matter what the occasion is my mum will dance the day or night away. She is the party! Wherever there is music she will dance, even if there isn’t music I can guarantee she will make her own. I’ve been in the middle of a conversation with her and I’ve turned around to find her dancing on the other side of the room. Dance your troubles away!
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4. Don’t put dampers on it
If I’m frowning and my mum enters the room, I know I have to turn that frown upside down ASAP! She will question me and once I begin to reply, she will cut me off and say “I don’t want any negativity in here” then a little rant will follow this. You may be wondering why she didn’t give me a chance to reply, this is her method of helping me get back on track and it works! I grew up on tough love and it didn’t do me any harm! Try to remain positive!

5. Do not rely on anyone
No expectations = No disappointments. If someone pulls through, then great! If they don’t, no biggie! We all need a helping hand from time to time, however if you can do it yourself then…

6. Do it yourself
I can’t even count the amount of times I have witnessed my mum do things I wouldn’t even imagine doing. Whilst my friends were playing outside; I was inside helping my mum plaster a ceiling or assisting her as she built a wardrobe from scratch! I remember a neighbour saying that my mum and another lady on my street were manlier than all the men on the street put together (There was a compliment in there somewhere I promise lol). If my mum can do it, so can I! I am not implying that I will be making a wardrobe from scratch though.
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7. Friends come and go
Over the years I have realised the amount of friends I have is insignificant. I can count all my friends on one hand and that’s okay because they are the ones that have been there for the long haul. My mum would tell me about what to expect in terms of friendship groups and I didn’t imagine it coming true. I guess my mum knows best!

8. Passion is your oyster
I’ve never come across anyone as passionate as my mum. I almost feel as though I’m looking into her heart as she talks. She was lucky enough to find her passion at a young age and it is has stuck with her to this day.
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9. One kindness deserves another
I consider this to be my mum’s all time favourite quote. She has mentioned this quote over and over recently. I can hear her in my head right now saying this quote to my brother. If someone is kind to you, be kind back!