Hi all, I’ve decided to post something a little different. I had second thoughts about sharing this as it is a touchy subject and something that has been an issue for the last decade or so.
My skin has pretty much been up and down. I used to be terrified of trying new products since my skin was so sensitive. I spent so much time researching new products, reading reviews, trying products and witnessing my skin taking a turn for the worst. There is one brand of skin care products that I now cannot live without….
I have never had any major break outs using any Simple products, it did take me a long while to get where I am today….
I have discussed my issue with a few friends over the years that were going through something similar. As a teenager you expect the odd spot to appear and to have a mini freak out session where you vow not to enter the school building because of it. Well imagine this happening ever other week for years. I accepted the fact I was one of the unlucky ones to have uncontrollable breakouts as I tried to find a solution for it.
I was told I was perhaps luckier than my peers since I was still only young and once I’m older and my skin clears up that’s when it will hit others (This is one of those things people tell you to help you feel better). Many of my peers had perfect skin in my eyes and a breakout never occurred in their teenage years from what I could see.
I was never bullied; people noticed my skin and I would get stared at. I tried my hardest to keep quiet and I wouldn’t interact with people outside my social group much in case someone commented on my skin. I know how cruel kids can be and I didn’t want to be the centre of attention. Whenever I could I would wear clothing with high necks to try and cover the spots on my chin.
My friends would tell me it didn’t make a difference and my chin was still visible, I didn’t care it was like my comfort blanket. It never occurred to me to wear make up in school to be honest, I dare not ask for make up anyway as the answer would be no 100 times over.
I ran into a girl in the year above me one summer and she looked me in the face and said ‘Err what happened to your skin?’ and I thought ‘Hmm how nice of her to point it out’. I’ve had little kids point and say ‘What’s that on your face?’ ‘Why do you have so many spots?’ Daddy why are those things on her face?’. Although I wanted to the floor to swallow me up in embarrassment I didn’t let it get to me- Kids will be kids.
I remember there was a guy who started to show interest in me and I overheard his friend say ‘She’s ugly though, have you seen her skin?’ I won’t lie those words hurt and for quite sometime I believed I was ugly, I went home one day and asked my mum why I was ugly. To this day I can’t recall my mum’s response to this. By now my self-esteem was at level 0, but I still prodded along and went to school everyday.
Doctors would laugh at me when I would ask to be referred to a dermatologist because my skin was fine and they didn’t see any problem with it. Mirror were off limits for me, when my friends and I waltzed into the girls toilet I would stand as far away from the mirror as possible. Staring at my reflection was just a reminder of how horrid my skin looked.
When I was about 15/16 my classes changed and I started to mingle with new people. I was still very shy and after a while I learned not to care so much. The proof was in the pudding; I hadn’t even realised my skin miraculously cleared up until a class mate pointed out. This worked wonders for my self-esteem thereafter. I felt more confident and I realised that those who truly did like me as a person didn’t care about such things.
My friends still hung out me regardless of me having a huge spot on my chin. I was worried my skin would instantly put guys off, yet it didn’t seem to bother the ones that liked me. Over the years I have had people say hurtful things, however they were not important people in my life. My college and university years were pretty much a blur to be honest, my skin flared up from time to time but I got on with my coursework.
I started to use a new range of skincare products earlier this year and I was convinced they would working for me. I decided to take a photograph of my skin and I wanted to cry (I probably did). I immediately stopped using the products.
I compared photographs of my skin in March and August and I like the results I see!!
I still make little mistakes and I often make the wrong choices and try products which are not right for my skin. For e.g. I brought a cleansing brush and regretted it after two uses. It was way too harsh for my skin.
‘Just because it works for everyone else, doesn’t mean it will work for you’. Its all about trial and error and like I mentioned before Simple products work for me and ‘If it ain’t broke, why fix it?’.
Its taken me 10 years , but I’m learning to love the skin I’m in! I feel like I still have a long way to go though and when I can I will visit a dermatologist. There is more to life than having or wanting good skin, but at the same time it is not a nice feeling having to stare at your reflection and not being happy with what you see!
If anyone has anything to say about your appearance, do not let them have any power over you! You are in control, the moment you take control of your thoughts is the moment you will notice a change- it may not take immediate effect, however in time you will notice a difference mentally.
AND don’t forget to…
Living With No Excuses 